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Slam Masters - One of the Greatest Videogames in the History of Our Sport

The current status quo of big name professional wrestling is… not something that is easy to have enthusiasm for. But we’re a podcast about WCW, which means our ability to Remember the 90s is extremely well honed. This means it’s time to talk about not something actually about WCW, but a product of the same time, when wrestling was still wrestling, it wasn’t Sports Entertainment, and it could therefore be a motif and not an extension of a larger product. Because no mortal wrestling promotion could sign Mike Haggar, he has a solar system to be mayor of, and invasions by Galactus to repel. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as The Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, Victor Ortega never pinned nobody, he’s a vacation champion.

Tagged: video games, Enthusiasm Despite Wrestling’s Status Quo, Mike Haggar as Model for Direct Action, Haggar/Hulk 2020: You Asked for This

Thunder in Paradise

In Jetta’s intro to this episode, she neglects to use the word “eulogize” to the normal intro of our show. That’s because what we have for you today isn’t a eulogy; it’s an invitation to those convened to speak up in respect for the deceased, so that we know who needs to be buried in the next few graves over. This, listeners, is the sort of thing that breaks a mind. This is only one of two movies I’ve forced myself to keep watching, and I had to at twice speed. It was still too long, and to be fair, 104 minutes of anything involving Hogan is way too long. Let alone when Chris Lemmon is with him, doing Chris Lemmon things, and supposedly cool boat that is supposedly there and that supposedly fights crime being held to the background for some sort of unbelievably boring family drama. We warned you, mess with Thunder, and you pay the price. Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, Hulk Hogan challenges the entire country of Cuba to a Battle in a Boat Match.

Tagged: a bunch of yelling about Hogan, seriously, a LOT of yelling about Hogan, Ed Leslie content, a Stealth Boat that’s not invisible so much as it’s just not in the movie very much

On That Polka Music Throughout the Episode:

That’s not polka music, that’s the sound my sanity makes when it leaks into the atmosphere. Here, enjoy an hour of it.

DDP vs The Machine

Quick, how do you kill time on an episode of Thunder? How about having lightning strike the transmitter and ruin the broadcast quality for an entire episode. That is one way, but another is to debut an unknown against an established talent. In a nothing spot in the middle of the show, with him under a mask and coming to the ring wearing chaps, with aggressively generic entrance music. Imagine, if you will, that individual’s name is The Machine? Why. Don’t ask so many questions, this is a thought experiment, we’re talking about having to kill time on a professional wrestling show, which is the mark of quality entertainment. Which is exactly what this episode is about, in the first of a series we would like to call Anatomy of a Bad Match. Tonight, on what will surely go down in History as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we see new detailed fidelity in our wrestling experience through a particularly crisp Russian leg sweep.

Tagged: Anatomy of a Bad Match, Bad Wrestling, bad gimmicks, DDP Deserved Better

A Normal Episode (About the UWF)

It’s been a long time since last we reconvened. Live goes as ever it has, with its peaks and valleys, and without going into the nitty gritty, it’s nice to see some foothills for once. In the spirit of needing to get back into the swing of things, we decided to purge some wrestling vitriol. But not in the direction of WCW, because now’s the time to be positive about the things we generally feel positive about. And for all the bad there is to talk about WCW, it left a bigass footprint in the landscape, and now a lovely forest has grown on it. We love that forest.

So instead, here’s an episode about the UWF.

No, not that one, the other one.

No, the OTHER one.

Yeah. THAT one.

Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, Terry Gordy pounded sand down A Mouse Hole (7 minutes, 38 seconds, ***½).

Tagged: Bad Wrestling, bad booking, No, seriously, bad wrestling, Zoogz Rift Appreciation Station

On Watching Any of This:

It’s up on Youtube. Do as thou must.

The WCW Hardcore Championship

What Puerto Rico unleashed upon the world of wrestling was something that ECW picked up, WWF ran with and WCW… had. Yes, it’s the wonderful world of divisional Hardcore Wrestling, that area of kayfabe that wants you to assume there’s some official body in charge of regulating competitive Hit Each Other With Yard Implements Until One Can’t Move for Three Seconds matches. Yes, WCW had such a thing towards the end of its life. The results were, well, pretty much what you’d expect from something WCW tried at the end of its life. But that doesn’t mean we can’t squeeze an entertaining hour out of talking about that one little corner of Where the Big Boys Play, where the hottest dance was more often than not The Big Wiggle. Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, the ups and down of that division where Terry Funk nearly got kicked in the skull by a horse.

Tagged: good ideas, bad ideas, Bad Wrestling, Guess How Many Times We Say ‘Knobbs’ In This Episode, We Don’t Actually Know Ourselves

Spring Breakout

Spring Break is among our hinkiest holidays, one which carries a higher than normal percentile probability for public humiliation, an STI and misdemeanor offenses stemming from altered states and mob mentality. It is thus of total coincidence that WCW decided it would be a fertile ground to run shows at Spring Break events. But here’s where the record scratch occurs and your mind is blown, because it turns out these shows were a great idea. More than simply giving the eyes of the viewing audience at home a vacation from the same old arena shows mainstream wrestling audiences are accustomed to now, the idea of “why not put a wrestling ring in a pool?” is an incredibly basic way to say to any possible interested onlooker “hey everybody, look over here, we got some shit you want to see.” And if you’re asking what alone is the value of that, consider that it’s professional wrestling that you’re watching, and that’s actually pretty much what every part of wrestling is doing. Wrestling fans, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we confirm that you don’t become Ric Flair if you steal his match’s finish.

Tagged: good gimmicks, good ideas, HEY WALL, UP THERE, THAT’S THE WALL, BROTHER

On Kevin Nash’s Cannonball Form:

Smooth over the rail into the full-tuck “You Can’t Stop Me, You Ain’t Cops.” Yes. Superb.

On Rocky Mountain Thunder and That Audio:

I just want you to know, I scoured the internet for video of a Rocky Mountain Thunder botch that didn’t just look painful, but sounded painful. Actually, no, I didn’t, I got it on the first try, because this man was a killer and he needed to be stopped.

Spooky Wrestlers!

We missed the mark by a day, but such is life. At least it’s not as late as a modern Treehouse of Horror episode, and it’s also not a modern Treehouse of Horror episode either, so that’s two points of mitigation. Instead, we have submitted for your approval two creepy wrestling gimmicks, with a distinctly, terrifyingly WCW-like quality. Namely, that they were booking trainwrecks of their own distinct flavors. First, from the neon of the early 90s, it’s WCW’s magical mastermind, the Black Scorpion! Then, from a time where Attitude was more the style, a gimmick doomed to terminate in a worked shoot, Seven! Because true fear lies in the uncertainty of existence, as so you’ll learn from these tales where Creative Truly Had Nothing for these workers. Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, Destroyer masks aren’t scary, and are in fact quite silly looking!

Tagged: bad gimmicks, bad booking, Not Dungeon of Doom (but Close Enough)

The Television Championship

Television was a terrifying prospect, as millions of homes across the world were threatened by new technology that allowed images raging locomotives and men getting shot with old cannons to be wired into the living room. The potential for this new tech was quickly proven in its ability to contain and transport professional wrestling to the eyes of viewing audiences when a match between Rikidozan and Lou Thesz was found to have been viewed by roughly half the entire number of televisions in Japan when it aired live. Even so, wrestling is a business, and television is a tool to succeed in that business, but it’s not where the money lives, even today. Enter, the concept of the Television Championship, a belt that is just for the TV audience to get them to tune in, so in turn, they’ll show up to a show and spend money. Like many companies, WCW had such a title, and you’d be hard pressed to find one that saw the amount of talent wearing it than Billionaire Ted’s TV Belt. Guess what we’re here to talk about in this one? Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we discuss how Tully Blanchard should be getting royalties for Turbo Teen.

Tagged: booking, Championship Belts, good angles, Legends of WCW

On That Boogie Woogie Man Song in the Episode:

I won’t leave you hanging. It’s right here, of course it is.


Anyone who lives with the intrusion of disruptive thoughts knows that scary hypotheticals are only half of the horror; the other half is the wondering how feasible your waking nightmare actually was, and also, if it’s already happened. With that framing in mind, Hulk Hogan ran for president in 1999. He didn’t run very hard and returned to wrestling very quickly, mind, but what’s that Simpsons joke about nobody being given a Nobel Prize for Attempted Chemistry? The threat existed, even if it barely happened, much like the Michelangelo Virus or Pepsi Blue. So now, we have to analyze the hypotheticals. Well, I mean we don’t have to, but we are, because this podcasting shit chose us. Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we look at the role of legendary Jewish mobster Meyer Lansky in dismantling the Nazis’ American ally organization, the German-American FUNB.

Tagged: a bunch of yelling about Hogan, No, seriously, Hogan yelling at maximum, wrestling and politics, The Internet’s Premier Wrestling and The Thick of It Fandom Podcast

About This Episode:

Thanks to our friend @countzio for suggesting this topic!

WCW Logic

A common thing I caught myself saying in this episode, over and over, so as needing to restart my sentence so that it did not contain a cliche, was “trying to pull the wool over our eyes.” This was the first thing that came to mind when writing this synopsis, and though it is a really well worn cliche, it is entirely reasonable to say that WCW really tried black-bagging its audience and driving it around downtown in the trunk of its car to make some things stick. In the end, they didn’t, because it depended on a different toolset of logic and reasoning, one that apparently only WCW was working with, that unfortunately was incompatible with its audience. Namely, that as long as we saw men in tights vigorously oscillating at each other, we’d forget any of the other massive leaps we needed to negotiate to arrive at a given point in a given angle. I don’t need to tell you, that dog won’t hunt, padre. Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, a battle of men, of genuine character, of moral fibre, and of the letter T.

Tagged: bad booking, what were they thinking?, a bunch of yelling about Hogan, Monster Truck sumo

On the Musical Selections for this Episode:
  • 4 Non Blondes - What’s Going On
  • Marvin Gaye - What’s Going On
  • Genesis - Land of Confusion
  • Queens of the Stone Age - No One Knows

Socialism, Wrestling and WCW

We live in interesting times. As social progress struggles to avoid backslide in the US at the hands of one of the most repressive and unpopular cryptofascists to ever take office, the UK is being reimagined as a battlefield between working class people, and the elite and the media they control. It’s terrifying to watch as freedoms are stripped away; and it’s exhilarating to watch as previously unassailable public figures are suddenly within reach, eminently fallible and flawed, and that chaotic mix of greedy without a sense of self preservation. Make no mistake, we have spent 2017 watching the government structures that control and limit our lives crack, rust and bow at the hands of people who were nowhere near as smart as they thought they were. Because of this, at the midpoint of the year that was supposed to finish us off, we now find ourselves laughing a lot longer and harder than we probably should be, but fuck you, because we weren’t supposed to be laughing at all right now. In this climate, we decided to have a free-form, no-notes sorta discussion about the nature of wrestling after the end of capitalism. Because sometimes, the prey doesn’t know it’s prey unless you speak plainly about it as such. And as some of us know, hunting’s no fun when the prey doesn’t know to run. Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, just why is it that scary clown gimmicks can turn babyface and the fans just go along with it?

Tagged: politics, The Plight of Wrestlers, Danny DeVito’s “Trashman” Gimmick as a Symbol of Antifascism, Go Fuck Yourselves, Tories

On Jetta's Articles:
On the Music in This Episode:

In Order:

  • Stiff Little Fingers - Suspect Device
  • Dead Kennedys - A Growing Boy Needs His Lunch
  • Death - You’re a Prisoner
  • Mick Gordon (feat. Tex Perkins) - The Partisan (from Wolfenstein: The Old Blood)

The Invasion Angle, Part 3-1: INVASION PPV

We’re back after a long while, with more delving into the dark Gordian Knot of McMahon Self-Satisfaction. This time, the main course, WWF Invasion itself, a show that upends the toybox of professional wrestling into the promise of the sort of spectacle wrestling fans were waiting their whole life for, only to promptly light them on fire and make you huff the burning plastic fumes. In this first half, we examine an ultimately meaningless but totally entertaining encounter between Lance Storm, Mike Awesome and Edge & Christian that could make you believe this was worthwhile. Then a referee fight follows, and pretty much so does the rest of the show, save for Kidman vs. Xpac, a match that was as entertaining as it was dead silent from the crowd. At this point, we should introduce our new guest, Our Combined Psychic Pain and Angst Over This Damn Angle. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as The Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, why did nobody else counter the Bronco Buster with a boot to the jewels??

Tagged: The Invasion, Bad Angles, Bad Wrestling, bad booking, Sean and Billy's Booking Purgatory, A God Damned Referee Fight on a Pay Per View

On Low Bitrate Swearing in a Ramshackle, Smoke-Emitting Fighting Game Engine:

This video will leave you with more questions than answers, but it’s actually more watchable than the Invasion. So, I guess, enjoy?

On Kicking Dudes in the Dick:

Lean back as you hit the groin.

Son of Moneyburners

Stuff happened. Stuff always happens, but this time it happened in sufficient quantities that we took an unscheduled break. But we’re back, and we’re hauling with us a payload of dollar bill ashes. Yep, we’re talking about the creative ways WCW found to burn their money again, and we’ve gotta dump it out right here, on you front lawn. Yes, this is legal. On tap? First, we take a journey into a very expensive junkyard. Then, we explore the impact of games without frontiers and wrestling events with no gate. Plus: Plane tickets! Shoddily fulfilled contractual obligations to Telemundo! A long digression about Sons of Anarchy! Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, how many times have I yelled “a man almost died” while laughing, and now many more times will I yell it?

Tagged: moneyburners, Bad Wrestling, Bad PPVs, You Fucked Us for the Last Time, EMLL

On How Much That Junkyard Cost:

I said at one point the figure I sourced was $10,000, but it was actually $100,000. Yeah. Yeahhhh.

Backstage Assault

Welcome to the New Year! Did you miss us? We’ll fix that, as we unleash upon you the polygonal horrors of a game so misbegotten, it could only have come out at the end of both WCW and the Playstation’s life. Yes, we’re talking about WCW Backstage Assault, a wrestling game that makes the bold choice of not having a wrestling ring at all, thus breaking the seal on a glimpse into a reality where wrestling is a televised bloodsport of men punching men on loading docks and in filthy restrooms, often to death. Folks, you’ve never seen athletic competition like this before, and there’s a damn fine reason for that. No, it’s not because the rapidly glitching and oscillating competitors would break space/time. It’s more of an ethical reason. Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we neglect to question why Z-Gangsta wasn’t in this game. ZEUUUUUUUSSSS!!

Tagged: wrestling games, badness, Doc Losing His Shit, anything goes on "The Block"

On Kodiak Interactive, the Producers of This Thing:

Of their catalogue, only the game Stratosphere: Conquest of the Skies caught my interest, as it’s actually a really cool concept! Props, Kodiak, this game’s got some neat ideas. I’m going to see for myself how well they pulled it off.

On Whether or Not Doc Will Stop Torturing Listeners With Those Vince McMahon Sounds:


WCW Superbrawl (SNES)

We’re back after a bit of a break, and in our journeys away, we have brought you this: a game in which the all-stars of WCW past shout at you from a highly compressed bitmap hell, while twitching and gesticulating from their character select prison. This is not a good game, folks, but we managed our own fun with it, in two very distinct ways. For one, we enjoyed exploring an alternate reality where Scott Steiner’s finishing hold was a Tombstone Piledriver, followed by exactly one dozen elbow drops and a pin. Two, we explored the possibilities of applying this game’s good points (and there are a few, they’re just either not complete or used in really silly ways) to theoretical, not-actually-real-but-we’d-like-them-to-be wrestling games. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, it’s not Rick Steiner’s fault, though we don’t know what he did, and given that he’s a Steiner, we should probably not ask.

Tagged: video games, Steiner Brothers, Ron Simmons Appreciation Station, An Unspecified Quantity of Vader Available

On Brian Pillman’s “Bad Attitude”:

This game mentions in its wrestler profiles Brian Pillman’s issues with management and other wrestlers, which at the time was a bit of a blurred line between work and shoot. As it turns out, it was a worked shoot, which culminated in Pillman ditching a match at Superbrawl VI in 1996 against Kevin Sullivan as the Taskmaster, forcing a not-dressed-to-work Arn Anderson to come out and wrestle Sullivan in his spot. Turns out, that was a work, but only Pillman and Eric Bischoff knew about it. See, Bischoff wanted to nurture Flyin’ Brian’s rep as a bad boy of wrestling and was building to a public firing so that Pillman could return as something as an outsider character to do run-ins and cause other havoc. Brian was into this idea, so into it, in fact, that he had Bischoff “sign” and then “hand him” his “walking papers” “backstage” to further the angle that he was fired. He then took those walking papers and left for the WWF. Yeah, turns out it was a shoot, but only Pillman knew about it. Guy was a hell of a worker, and possibly on more points than you realized.

On the Mentioned Nightmarish Character Select Screen:

The Invasion Angle, Part 2-2: Smackdown, July 12th, 2001

We continue on into the Vince McMahon show, featuring WCW and ECW, and things are not particularly sunny. We examine the exciting new kink of Erotic Denial of a Stunner (Receiving), Vince leaving the venue, which for some reason was its own segment, a modicum of wrestling and another fucking Alliance beatdown to cap things off. But hey, there were a couple of suplexes thrown in, so that’s something, right? Right? Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we continue or tally of adjectives used to describe Paul Heyman, and realize we’re going to need another page before we’re done all this.

Tagged: Bad Angles, possibly the Worst Angle, The Invasion, tfw daddy won’t give stunner

On What that Abomination with Angle and Guy Fieri Doc Made Is:

Look, we're going to level with you, we don’t even know.

The Invasion Angle, Part 2-1: Smackdown, July 12th, 2001

Come with us, listeners, as we are about to delve deeper into the ennui of the greatest squandering of wrestling talent in the history of the industry, now with much improved audio! With Raw, you saw the emergence of the Invasion, and the group of WCW and ECW talent called the Alliance, except when they aren’t and are called the Coalition instead. With Smackdown, you see the status quo of this period. Let us observe this once, and then never again. We’ve got 3 minute matches, we’ve got Tazz picking a fight with an announcer, again, and we’ve got endless Vince segments. Witness us witnessing this, and derive pleasure from it. DERIVE, damn you. Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we speculate on the nature of the Edge and Christian panopticon- Death to Videodrome, Long Live Reeking of Awesomeness.

Tagged: Bad Angles, possibly the Worst Angle, ego, chumpstains

On the Jericho/Storm Tag Team:

Chris Jericho and Lance Storm got their start as a tag team in Jim Cornette’s Smoky Mountain wrestling, as The Thrillseekers. They wore Sgt. Pepper jackets and were in every way a better team than the Rock and Roll Express, that unfortunately worked in the Rock and Roll Express’ major area of fandom. Jericho wanted to call the team The Lovely Lads as a reference to Spinal Tap. Storm had issues with that name, obviously.

The Invasion Angle, Part 1-2: RAW, July 9th, 2001

Welcome back to our reckless fanboat ride through a miserable swamp of wrestling history. We have for you today part the second of our first recording session, discussing a truly crushing episode of Raw, one that is fully Bad, and staring over the precipice of Worse. Topics of discussion include unending backstage segments, unclear face/heel alignments, Big Show busting out a Steenalizer out of nowhere and Goofy-Ass Kurt Angle being an island of good in a lot of bad. You’ll notice there’s not a lot of mention of WCW in this copy, and there’s a reason for that. His name is Vince, and you and him probably won’t see eye to eye on what makes an entertaining two hours of wrestling. Just sayin’. Tonight, on what will surely go down as The Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, Scotty 2 Hotty was thrown out of the ring, rolled over on the mat and died, RIP Scotty.

Tagged: unending segments, bad booking, Bad Angles, YO YOU DEALIN WITH THE X-FACTA

On the Continuing Audio Issues:

Don’t worry, we know. They’re dead as of this coming episode.

On the Difference Between Mark Madden and Scott Hudson:

Doc says: "I have a tendency to mix these two up and I don’t quite know why. But at least now I’m cognizant of it, so I won’t do it again. Probably."

On Asses in Faces:

You may notice a man talking about an entrance designed to show off a combatant’s asshole. This is Vince Verhei from the mighty Bryan and Vinny Show, if you don’t recognize the voice. He’s talking about the utter disaster that was the TNA bout between Sharmell and Survivor contestant and untrained worker Jenna Morasca, which can be viewed here. It’s so totally worth it.

The Invasion Angle, Part 1-1: The Preamble

That’s right, fans, you know when a title’s got that many colons in it, business is picking up. We’re joined by Lucas Brown and Alex Hardison to talk about one of the greatest squanderings of talent in wrestling history, and no, we’re not talking about Stan Hansen being saddled with a comedy cowboy gimmick (JIM HERD.) No, we’re talking about the Invasion Angle, in which WCW and ECW converged in conflict with Vince McMahon’s WWF, and the only thing that came out of it was fan disappointment, wasted potential and enough ego wankery to be tantrically stored. We’re descending into the true underworld of wrestling, folks, so I hope you brought some nice bloody steaks to help get past Cerberus. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, Meng once walked through a drive-thru; 3 dead, 11 injured.

Tagged: Bad Angles, Actually Probably One of the Worst Angles, ego, Vince McMahon's Ghastly Pleasures

On the Audio Quality:

Sorry about that, folks, Alex’s recording took a bit of a header off a cliff and I spent a long time getting it back to something audible. Just picture him as the Tony Yayo to our G-Unit, and he’s recording his verse over a prison payphone.

On That McMahon Playboy Interview:

Google at your risk, as one of the lesser skin-crawly bits is McMahon revealing a prepubescent him wanting to stuff dried leaves up an older girl. Yeah, I warned you.

Revenge of Bad Gimmicks

The Invasion crossover is in the pipe, but we’ve got something to tide you over until we can get everything zipped up. Namely, another delve into the deep barrel of awful gimmicks WCW talent got handed over the years. Come along with us, as we explore the world of baffling bodysuits, Barry Darsow’s violent putting challenge, things that got done to poor Brad Armstrong and awkward skateboarding. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, Jim Herd is an extradimensional muppet pokemon. JIM HERD.

Tagged: bad gimmicks, Barry Darsow, Brad Armstrong, lawsuits, JIM HERD

On the Lack of Notes for This Episode:

We barely plan this show as it is, and this particular episode we planned even less. How do we do it, you ask? Our ability to ignore better judgement is unparalleled among our fellow humanity. Yes, I do know what it feels like to be lit on fire, multiple times at that, why do you ask?


Fresh off a long helicopter ride, direct from the Gathering of the Juggalos, which we stole in our prison break for stabbing people. That’s the story of our delay, and we’re sticking to it. But What is a Juggalo? We don’t know, but we’re pretty down with these particular clowns when it comes to the world of wrestling. Like, if you’re looking for a hatchet job with this episode, you’d probably best look elsewhere, because as it turns out, the duo of Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope are actually a strong spot of the grim, terminally ill years of WCW’s later life. True workmen, these Homies are, individuals that displayed a higher level of understanding of the art of wrestling and its collaborative nature, and all without any requirement of being paid like Big Money Hustlas. Oh stop it, you knew I was going to do this, why wouldn’t I? Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, every real estate agent looks sort of like Norman Smiley.


On Sabu's GoFundMe:

Friend to clown and enemy to tables alike, Sabu needs surgery, and he needs a hand with the bill. Give him one here:

On the Musical Selection for this Episode:
  • Theme from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
  • ICP - What is a Juggalo, I Stab People
  • Anita Ward - Ring My Bell
  • The Partridge Family - C’mon Get Happy
On Improving Your Outlook and Faith in Humanity:

Granted, it’s not like it’s hard to have better and more informed opinions than the GOP, but then there’s these folks at the Gathering of the Juggalos who basically shot three pointers on them like they’re grease-painted Larry Birds.

Your Questions, Our Answers

You asked for it, brothers, sisters and those beyond and in-between, and you got it! It’s our first Q&A episode, where you come to us with pressing questions about WCW history and we mostly just goof on the responses. I mean, okay, we do so serious answering here, but we also note that modern-day Alex Wright has the unfortunate look of a typical MRA (#NotAllMeng) (#MengGoingHisOwnWay) and the multiple ways the statement “[Mike Awesome] could’ve worked someplace else” can be taken. So come with us, listeners, to a land of enlightenment, and also weed jokes. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, it’s time to grow up and put the toys away, because it’s all just men in tights, hugging.

Tagged: Q&A, shameless soundalike entrances, bad gimmicks, Alex Wright deserved better

On the Musical Selection of This Episode:
  • Bad Religion - The Answer
  • The Cure - Boys Don’t Cry
  • The Dead Kennedys - MTV Get Off the Air
  • Yuki Iwai - Flame Stag (Megaman X2 Soundtrack)
  • Gunther - Ding Dong Song
  • Dr. Dre - The Next Episode (Feat. Snoop Dogg & Nate Dogg)
  • Steely Dan - Do It Again
  • Kraftwerk - Radioactivity
On What the Hell That Thing Casey Kasem Swearing About U2 Was:

Negativland rules so hard. Thank you, Adrienne, for introducing me to their work. RIP Pastor Dick.

Warrior in WCW

Load the spaceship with the rocket fuel, load it with the warriors and put this podcast on the sound system, then prepare to break loose from all the vast sources of shouted incoherence across these weak planets. Yes, we’re talking about a man of many names on this episode, most known as Warrior, sometimes an Ultimate one, but with or without the facepaint, he is the Ultimate Warrior. He was complex man, some might say, what with his stream of consciousness promos, his seemingly practiced inability to perform basic wrestling holds, and his disdain for queer people and, well, pretty much anyone that wasn’t him. But did you know he was in WCW for a short spell? Because we do. We were there, watching, and we won’t forget what he did when he came to where the Big Boys Play and felt the injection from the gods above. Confused yet? I don’t blame you. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sports, we bring up the unfortunate sounds made during a test of strength spot that resembled oral sex more than most do.

Tagged: WARRIAHS, bad booking, Bad Wrestling, a bunch of yelling about Hogan

On the Repeated Goofing on That Test of Strength Spot:

Come on, it couldn’t possibly have been that much of a blowjob, right?


On the Memory of Warrior the Person and Warrior the Wrestler:

Wrestlers have an unfortunate tendency to be more mortal than most people, despite their larger than life stature on our television. We strive to be respectful of those that have passed on in our approach to any questionable work done in ring or on camera, riffing off they, the wrestler, rather than they, the person. Warrior was definitely a man who was something to someone as a son, a husband and a father.

And then there’s stuff like this, and content warning for a bunch of homophobia and ableism and other godawful displays of inhumane humanity. He was a worse person than most. And when the best you really have to say about a person is “wow, he really knew how to make an entrance,” you realize that you’re just reaching for nice things to say. Might as well just pull both triggers and empty both barrels, rather than dancing around things.

On the Show Notes:

WCW Gold, WWF Snubs

A lot of talent switched sides back in the day between the big two on the block. Some jumped ship to Play (look at the adjective) with the Big Boys, while others found a better life among wrestling mounties and hockey enforcers. Among this exchange of talent is a group of really, really good wrestlers that held the highest title in WCW, that nevertheless never reached the same heights in New York. What’s the deal here? Well, let’s see if we can find out, shall we? Plus, a discussion of the thing with the Hardys going on in TNA right now, because wow, how could we not talk about that. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we discuss Vader’s tips and tricks to cleaning your fine Swiss-made clocks.

Tagged: Legends of WCW, great matches, Champions, BROTHERRR NEEEEERO

On That VHS Cover Doublecakes Had to Find:

Just try not to look directly at this thing.

(Found at

On the Gifs Made of That Thing with the Hardys:
Look out, Reby, the sun has exploded again!
Do Not Throw Baby

WCW Video Games

Like a lot of the big time pro wrestling promotions out there, WCW had quite a selection of video games out there to waste your time with. Some of them, like WCW vs nWo: World Tour, are much beloved titles. Others, like the much maligned WCW Backstage Assault, are baffling and best left as footnotes in the annals of wrestling game history. And what do you know, we got a little of both in our first bite into this particular part of WCW History. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we mash buttons to determine which one of Michael Hayes’ thighs is the more racist one.

Tagged: video games, WCW merchandise, questionable renderings of pro wWrestlers, Steve Williams was basically Bluto from Popeye IRL

On that One Song We Used That Wasn’t Game Music:

It was Ronnie James - Video Games

Bad Tag Teams

Harlem Heat. The Steiners. Sting and Luger. The Outsiders. The Hollywood Blondes. Doom. WCW was not a promotion unfamiliar with memorable tag teams, either for their historical significance, their talent, or both. But for every success, there is a misstep. And sometimes, when you misstep, you wind up tripping over a guardrail, tumbling ass over teakettle over cliff, falling into a ravine, landing in a pointy skeleton tree and hitting every branch on the way to the ground. Then, when you wake up, you look down at your phone and see that you have a text from a coworker asking if anyone in management knew about the Nazi tattoos the new talent hires are sporting. That’s what we’re talking about today, possibly because we had too much genuine enjoyment from doing the last episode, and we must maintain a balance. Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we discuss the uncomfortable subtext at the heart of the team of Curt Hennig and The Cowboy Guy.

Tagged: for the love of the game racism, bad tag teams, literal Nazis, MAKE EM SAY UHH, UHH, (NA NA NA NAAAH)

On the Musical Selection for This Episode:
  • The Theme of Kronik
  • The Dead Kennedys - Nazi Punks Fuck Off
  • The Misfits - Green Hell
  • The Theme of the Pit Crew, or whatever that piece of production music was called
  • Master P - Make Em Say Uhh
  • Curt Hennig & The West Texas Rednecks - Rap is Crap

Collision in Korea

A day late, due to both the worst internet service Doc has ever seen and also due to the sheer size of this endeavour, we are delving into one of the lost artifacts of WCW, Collision in Korea. A goodwill mission of wrestling in the heart of North Korea, this highly watchable show is strange for a number of reasons, the least of which is a very polite and huge crowd that keeps up a medium-loud roar throughout, with a modicum of whooping and whistling. Come with us, as we explore the nationalist tensions between commentators Eric Bischoff and Sonny Onoo, with Mike Tenay stuck in the middle. Thrill, as joshi legends clash at speeds sufficient to induce time travel! Be amazed, as Hiroshi Hase gets Steinerized like few in history have ever been before! Cringe, as Bischoff says the words “back leg round kick” one hundred times on commentary! Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we talk diplomacy, as it can only be undertaken by Antonio Inoki and Ric Flair.

Tagged: great matches, Legends of WCW, back leg round kick, Bull and Akira, OTP, Steiner Appreciation Station

On What We Mean by ‘an ROH Match’:

Ring of Honor can be seen as one of the more no-nonsense promotions in North America, taking the speed and agility that indies are known for and pulling it back to an earlier time in the history of pro wrestling, when it was portrayed as a sport, not just entertainment. While it’s a far cry from the sort of match Karl Gotch would conduct, you can see it as an evolution of that style. So when we say ‘this is an ROH match’, we mean ‘competitive-looking chain wrestling, with holds, strikes and slams with the psychology that this is a non-worked sport.’ And that’s why it’s easier just to say that it’s an ROH match in 1995.

On Me Getting to Link Inoki Beating Up Spider-Man Again:

“I AM AN EMISSARY OF HELL! SPIDER-MA”*whack whack whackwhackwhack whack whackwhack* 

On This Back Leg Round Kick Business:

Did you know Eric Bischoff is a black belt? That’s cool! What isn’t cool is his use of American Karate terminology, better suited for instructing a dojo of students learning movements in a kata. As it is, him making calls of “back leg round kick” or “back leg front kick” just come off as incredibly grating and unnecessary.

Cages, Non-Stacked

Welcome back to the realm of chainlink and questionable creative decisions! We have for you today selection that runs the full depth of the WCW experience, which is to say three matches that run the spread from “legendary greatness”, to “so bad it’s good”, to “go fuck yourself, Hogan.” Yes, it turns out that Hogan doesn’t need another two cages balanced over his head to self-aggrandize. But let’s not let an orange goblin drag us down, because we also have the amazing story of Great Muta, Cage Match Firefighter and the Astonishing Electric Abdullah. Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we learn that whenever Dusty Rhodes woke up in a cold sweat, something memorable in wrestling would soon follow, for better or worse.

Tagged: cages, Legends of WCW, Great Fucking Muta, questionable booking, a bunch of yelling about Hogan

On the Musical Selection for this Episode:
  • The Misfits - London Dungeon
  • Metallica - Ride the Lightning
  • Soundgarden - Rusty Cage

Joshi in WCW (with SPECIAL GUESTS Megan Nielsen and Elle Collins!)

Welcome to the world of colourful ring gear, makeup that doesn’t smear and stiffness that’s stronger than death- it’s Joshi, the wrestling subgenre of women hitting each other really, really hard. It turns out, WCW had a lot of this going on, which is surprising to everyone here but Doublecakes, apparently. But what do I mean, “everyone?” Well, we happened to be joined by Elle and Megan of the mighty Hard Times Podcast! So join us as we delve into topics such as the many presentations of femininity in Joshi, how hard Bull Nakano hits people, how hard Bull Nakano owns and just how many times Madusa and Akira Hokuto actually faced off in WCW (we don’t actually know, but it’s a lot). Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we reflect on the horrid abomination that is Hog Wild 1996 through the lens of furious women smashing motorcycles.

Tagged: WCW at its best, Everybody loves Bull Nakano, stiffness, seriously, fuck Hog Wild

On the Majesty of MOAT FIGHTING:

Look at this wonderful malarkey. It’s like someone made the random encounters in a Yakuza game into a sport. It’s like slow motion car wrecks set to the score from Koyaanisqatsi. It’s beautiful. I love it.

Ave Ralphus!

Chris Jericho spent a lot of time in WCW testing the boundaries that he could get away with. As it turns out, he could get away with a lot, like blatantly lifting a sequence from This is Spinal Tap for a backstage segment, and getting both himself and a WCW camera crew ejected from the Library of Congress. And, on top of that, it turns out he could also gently press gang a less-than-imposing member of WCW’s road crew into donning ill-fitting clothing and marching him out alongside him as his bodyguard. Fun gimmick? Definitely, as watching Jericho order around his own personal midriff-baring Elmer Fudd is...well, unique. But what’s baffling about it is that with Jericho moving on up to New York, Ralphus didn’t fade away without him. In fact, he flourished on, as a small, concentrated spark of bottled lightning, a balding, toothless, rotund man that couldn’t work a lick and yet, somehow, kept getting a reaction. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we examine the merits of beating up and pinning children for heat in pro wrestling storylines.

Tagged: this happened, the latter days of WCW, Bad Wrestling, Doc Making Stuff Up

On that Car Crash Sound and Music During Doublecake’s Intro, and an Explanation of The Cheap Pop:

A cheap pop is mentioning something, usually the name of a city or a city’s sports team, to provoke audience cheers without really doing anything. Mick Foley, aka Cactus Jack, aka Dude Love, aka Mankind, aka Santa Claus, was especially fond of doing cheap pops in a really obvious and charming wink-wink, nudge-nudge sorta way, which is why his signature car crash and classic rock entrance theme plays after Doublecakes mentions the newly opened HARLOT MEDIA, CLICK HERE TO RECEIVE FEMINIST CELESTIAL MAJESTY AND DROP A MIGHTY GLOWING ELBOW ON PATRIARCHY FROM LOW ORBIT. Was that an actual instance of a cheap pop? Not really, but I don’t see signs posted declaring this a No Fun Zone, so if you do, can you point them out to me?

On Shemp Howard:

We talked about bad stand-ins, using the infamous Fake Shemp Howard of The Three Stooges as an example. I said the Fake Shemp had to come in because Real Shemp got hurt on a short, and the Stooges filmed shorts concurrently, so he was benched for 3 or 4 different shorts. Well, turns out I sorta glossed over the part where he was… y’know, dead, instead of just hurt. Whoops.

On Subtly Building Up Your Opponent in Your Promos:

The amateur mistake of cutting a promo on your opponent in professional wrestling is to pile shit on them until light cannot reach them. For your purpose as a combatant in a Sanctioned Professional Grappling Contest, this is a bad move, because what you’ve just done is called burying, the act of putting a worker down with the intent of killing whatever heat they have. Burying someone you’re having a match with is a bad idea, which is something a young Chris Jericho learned the hard way, because as he related in his book, he realized too late that if you beat someone you buried, nobody cares because they’re buried, and if you get beat by them, you get buried even deeper than them.

It’s also something an older Buff Bagwell learned the hard way, when he came out and in costume and mocked the hypermuscular elemental of human id named Scott Steiner. Steiner, an individual who is roughly as sensible as a man who walks around shirtless in a chain coif would seem to be, took this slight personally and proceeded to beat 10 years off the end of Buff’s life, live on pay per view.

Movie Tie-Ins: Robocop

Back again after some moving and shaking in realms other than old-style man-grappling, we return to talk about WCW’s questionable choices in co-promotion. Particularly, their tendency to try and blur the lines between wrestling reality and movie make believe. It’s still real to us, dammit. Because as you can probably tell, there’s a difference between putting a film’s branding all over your wrestling event, and having its cybernetic protagonist come out and rip the door off a cage containing your talent. Tonight, in what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we talk at length about the Future of Questionable Booking Enforcement.

Tagged: questionable booking, movie tie-ins, Sid's destroyed car, this happened

On Neither Doublecakes or Myself Correctly Remembering Who Was In the Four Horsemen During this Malarkey:

Look, there were a lot of goddamned horsemen, okay? We’re not to blame here, clearly Steve McMichaels is.

On the Perfect Young Revolutionary’s Companion Viewing for Robocop:

It’s They Live. Like it would be literally any movie other than They Live.

The Power of Positive Thinking, with Wrestling

Life comes at you quick, and it has a million ways to get you down. One such way is for an outspoken homophobe to debut to ovation on the biggest stage in professional wrestling- that’s a definite bummer. So in order to get the big happy party that is colourful spandex slap-grapplin’ back on track, we spend this freeform episode talking about the things we love about WCW, the little things to the big things. This means a lot of talk about Ric Flair being mad, red and nude in the best ways possible, of Mean Gene Okerlund being the best interviewer in wrestling history, of DDP being an inspiration at a high concept level and of the little spats that can blow up and reach detente in a matter of seconds in a wrestling ring. Oh, and we also discover the answer to the question “how could The Shockmaster Incident have gone worse?” Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we smile widely while declaring “yo, fuck Mil Mascaras.”

Tagged: Ric Flair GOAT, Mean Gene Appreciation Station, MAGGLE, The Shockmaster, We can’t not talk about Nakamura on a WCW podcast

On That Song:

That’s Killer Mike’s “Ric Flair”. Not only is it basically perfect, it also makes a very direct point: if you put Flair’s promos to a beat, it’s pretty much hip hop as is.

On The Shockmaster:

You haven’t seen this? Why have you not seen this? 

On the Diamond Cutter being the best finishing move of all time:

It is. Fight me, you buncha circus animals

The Dungeon of Doom

Beware, listeners, for Dark Wonders inhabit this episode and the fates of our podcasters are thus ETCHED IN STONE. Join us as we wander the halls of some weird faux-Aztec edifice apparently lost in the wilds of Georgia to expose the mysteries of WCW’s most Evil stable. Notice that it’s capital-E Evil, denoting whimsy, as opposed to the Col. Parker-led Harlem Heat, which was just plain ol’ real world evil. That’s how we’re differentiating these things, folks. Join us, as we discuss the marvels of the Zodiac, the horror of Kamala’s offensive gimmick, and how this stable did both Vader and John Tenta no favors. Also, Lex Luger was there too for some reason, I dunno, maybe someone thought bodybuilders were terrifying? Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we disrupt conventions of the industry and build a more efficient cannibal.

Tagged: Andre's large adult son, a bunch of yelling about Hogan, for the love of the game racism, YES, NO

On the Lack of Music for this Episode:

We had originally thought about using tracks from the many members of the Dungeon Family. Because jokes, right? Get it? In practice, however, this resulted in a tonal dissonance that nearly broke my neck. Turns out Killer Mike’s Monster was not the most appropriate song to put alongside talk of a zebra-striped Ed Leslie.

On Samurai Cop, and Why It’s Like the Monster Truck Sumo:

Samurai Cop is one of the best worst movies of all time. There is something wrong in very nearly every single frame of film in this movie, and it remains incredibly watchable, either from sheer hilarious incompetence or trying to puzzle out what the hell is going on in the plot. It’s the only movie we’ve ever seen where the continuity errors mutate to form their own bizarro-logic. It’s amazing. Watch it. Watch it again. Never turn it off.

On a Video Clip of Inoki Slapping Spider-Man:

You’re welcome.

The Gospel According to Vince Russo, Part Two

Comes now part the second of our exploration of Mr. Vincent Russo, delayed by Holiday Cheer and Holiday Burnout. Thought you could get away, huh? Too late, we’ve already trapped you in three cages stacked on top of each other! Within this edifice of steel and poor choices, we’ll discuss Russo’s tendencies towards race in his booking (they are all unfortunate), his stance on swerves (they are good, do not question the swerve, Hail Swerve) and his near grasping of success in WCW booking (Hogan, you tangerine fiend.) Don your football pads, we’re wading back into the fray. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we pledge eternal sobriety and fidelity to W.A.R.I.O.

Tagged: SWEAH TO GAHD, a bunch of yelling about Hogan, good for Bitcoin, we've made a horrible mistake

On Destructo’s experience with a specific ethnic slur:

Somebody really did call me that once, despite being of Scottish/Norwegian heritage, rather than Irish. But hey, red hair and freckles, and it’s not like bigots are known for being good with nuance. Or anything else, really.

On the choice of music for this episode:

The slide from good to bad songs with a Christian bent has looped once again. Stryper is right at the middle, representing my inner conflict about actually really liking To Hell with the Devil.

On the inexplicable amount of Val Venis chat in this episode:

We’re as confused as you are.

The Gospel According to Vince Russo, Part One

Vince Russo. Where do you even begin? How can it be that the man that helped to raise the WWF out of its 84 week slump also be the man that laid the boots to WCW in its dying days? The short answer is “because pure, unfiltered Russo is something no promotion’s lungs can handle.” The long answer is this, the first of a giant-sized two parter, where we break down the Ten Commandments of Mr. Vincent Russo’s booking style and all of its foibles. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we discuss the finer points of incapacitating a human being with a tequila bottle.

Tagged: SWEAH TO GAHD, nihilism, Doc’s Russo Impression, Doublecakes' Waluigi Impression as a Russo Impression, MAGGLE

On the Choice of Music for This Episode:

This is what you get when you have no religion and try to find appropriate religious music for your podcast. It starts wonderful, then goes south quick.

Improve Your Wrestling Vocabulary!:

You’ve probably heard us talking about Marks and Smarks. Mark is an older wrestling term, one with deep roots in both carnie-speak and confidence scamming- it means someone that believes you and whatever you’re selling, completely uncritically. In other words, it’s the people that you can fool. A mark used to mean someone that believes wrestling is real, but now it more means wrestling fans in general- people who know who the stars are and cheer the people they’re supposed to, but don’t keep up with the behind the scenes and in general aren’t very critical of what they’re seeing. Smark is short for smart mark, meaning a fan that actually does keep up with the real story behind the scenes and has opinions on the art and business of wrestling. It’s often used derisively, because, well, smarks are often kinda awful. When you hear things described as ‘smarky,’ it usually means it’s something that’s either got the stink of awful fan entitlement all over it, or it’s obnoxiously wink-wink nudge-nudge, like some professional wrestling Ernest Kline novel. If you don’t know who that is, please don’t look him up.

On the Extra-Long Outro Stinger:

We have fun. We don’t always want to throw that fun away. Enjoy.

Things on a Pole

Traditional psychology in a one-on-one professional wrestling match is a simple foundation to be built upon, one that is a simple conflict of person against person. You can build a lot on top of a foundation that solid and flat, storylines driven through physical action of competition, rivalry, hatred, inner conflict, child custody, custody of the letter T, custody of a mother on a forklift, whatever you want. It also leaves room for the introduction of physical props and obstacles, like cages, ladders, even hellfire. With all those choices, you’d think it’d be easy to craft something unique and wonderful. And you’d be wrong, because of those choices is the option of putting a thing dangling off a pole and then putting the pole in a corner; that’s never a good idea. Confused? So are we, but probably not for the same reason, because we’re frankly wondering why so many of these damn matches exist. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as The Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we plead for the strength of the mighty crowbar and get Diamond Cuttered for our trouble.

Tagged: poles, chemtrails? chemtrails., nihilism, Sting Appreciation Station, SWEAH TO GAHD

Wrestling Vocabulary: Kayfabe and Shoot:

What is real and what is worked in pro wrestling? That’s one hell of a question to ask. However, there are actually wrestling terms for these, in case you’re concerned about some of the apparent nonsense we’ve been spouting. Kayfabe, then, is anything that’s a work- a kayfabe injury isn’t a real injury, a kayfabe name isn’t a real name. Shoot is anything that’s actually real, and it can be used in a number of ways beyond this. Shooting on someone or something means that a wrestler or other worker is talking out of character on it. Shooting on somebody can also mean that they’re legitimately fighting them, in or out of the ring. A worked shoot is when it’s made to look like someone is going out of character, but it’s a part of the storyline. Worked shoots are often dicey propositions, because they tend to either blow up in bookers’ faces or just fall flat with audiences. However, some of them have had a huge return on investment through the years. I mean, just look at the nWo.

On Doublecakes’ JBL Impression:

Kills me dead, every time.

On a Choice That I Thought Would Be Funny but Turned Out to Be Really Disturbing:

I had originally intended to put Harlan Ellison reading the Allied Mastercomputer’s (AM) monologue about hate from the game version of I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream before our talk about the Pinata on a Pole Match. This turned out to be extremely jarring and actually chilling in a way that broke the mood of the episode entirely. Also, despite our anger and disgust at the match, both that story and game are downers of the highest order and really didn’t do anything for the podcast. So fuck it, Mastodon instead. Speaking of which…

On the Music Used in this Episode:
  • Tina Turner - We Don’t Need Another Hero
  • The Allman Brothers - Midnight Rider
  • Mastodon - Death March
  • Spin, Spin, Spin - Jim Johnston

Running Through the Midcard

It’s easy, listening to the previous episodes, to assume that we might have a negative-skewed stance towards WCW. Mainly because we were talking about Hogan and a cage match held on the bed of a time-traveling semitruck. But now, we’re going to talk about a reason why we loved this company, and that’s the mega-stacked midcard. In this episode of what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we revel in the glory of names like Guerrero and Jericho; we talk about the contributions to the wrestling world of men like El Dandy and Chris Candido; we find hope and warmth in there being life after wrestling from Chuck Palumbo; and we even discuss an important point about the collaborative nature of wrestling from a story about Bull Pain righteously punching Van Hammer right in his dense head.

Tagged: ARMBAR, Guerrero Appreciation, Hart Promo or dril Tweet?, Nobody Gets Over with the Biker Gimmick

Improve Your Wrestling Vocabulary!:

We’re getting a surprising number of wrestling newbies listening to our podcast, and that’s great! So while we’re here, we might as well explain some of the terms we use on this show. A Babyface or Face is a good guy, while a heel is a bad guy; a tweener is someone who has aspects of both a face and heel and generally lets the crowd decide what they are. An example of a tweener in WCW is probably a favorite of Doc Destructo’s, Scott Steiner, who frankly was probably supposed to be a heel, but was so consistently exciting and hilarious, the fans cheered him anyway. A gimmick is the hook of a wrestling persona, what makes them distinct; gimmick can also be used to describe props, while saying an object has been gimmicked is to say that it’s been prepped to make it wrestling safe. For example, a gimmicked guitar, the favored weapon of Jeff Jarrett, is a guitar that’s had all the hard and sharp bits removed, then filled with powder, so it blows up real nice without causing actual harm to the person hit with it. An angle can be thought of roughly as a story point in a wrestling storyline. Angles can be as simple as one competitor refusing to shake the other’s hand, or they can be as complex as Buff Bagwell’s mother being held hostage on a forklift. (This actually happened, and it wasn’t very good.) Over is the state of being appreciated by the audience for what you’re doing. When a wrestler is over, the crowd buys into their gimmick; they cheer if the wrestler’s a face and boo if they’re a heel.

On the Subject of Some Minor Uproar Over Monster Truck Sumo Wrestling:

Cool your jets, we’ll get to that. Seriously, how could we not cover that?


When it came to money, WCW existed in a strange place that no other promotion could lay claim to. After all, for as much as they were a promoter of professional wrestling, a business, they were also the hobby project of Ted Turner, possibly the wealthiest wrestling fan in history. This was as large a boon as really any sort of entertainment company could hope for, because it effectively meant an endless stream of money, supplied with goodwill by a mustachioed Georgian god-king. With this mighty gift of patronage, WCW could experiment with their programming content free of really any sort of budget constraint, which led to some indisputable successes. It also led to Three Cages Stacked on Top of Each other and the trademarked stage persona of Gene Simmons stagnating on the midcard. Guess what we’re talking about in this one? Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we shut down County Road D to have a mobile wrestling match on it.

Tagged: moneyburners, three cages stacked on top of each other, three rings placed adjacent to each other, ideas that were better on paper, harrowings and near fatalities, HOT TAKES

On the Jumbled Mess that is World War 3:

We were kind of taken aback as to the sheer spectacle of World War 3, to the point that we didn’t really make a thesis statement as to why it was a moneyburner. Whoops. Anyway, there’s a whole lot of terms that could be used to describe a 3 ring turboclusterfuck that often brought in outside talent just to fill out the roster, culminating in something that was largely unwatchable; none of them are ‘fiscally responsible.’

On the rosters of the World War 3 matches:
On THAT Clothesline from Hell:

It’s at 1:43 in this video.


Mother of God.

On the music used in this episode:
  • Liza Minnelli - Money Makes the World Go Round
  • Deep Purple - Space Truckin’
  • Theme from Ready 2 Rumble Boxing
  • The Sword - Fire Lances of the Ancient Hyperzephyrians
  • KISS - Love Gun

The Rise and Stagnation of the nWo

There's nothing in wrestling history quite like the arrival of the New World Order. It was a shattering of the status quo that dropped fans headfirst on a concrete slab and spun donuts on their front lawn. The Bad Boys of wrestling had arrived, and they weren't here to play. Hell, they didn't even want to know if play was actually an adjective or not. Because of them, WCW rode a rocket to the very top of the business. But what happens when a subversive force becomes a ruling power? The results might surprise you. Or probably not, given how WCW's not around any more. On this episode of what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we remember TBS's Dinner and a Movie programming block, and how even it had an nWo presence. You know, in the commercial breaks, during them showing "Road House."

Tagged: good ideas handled badly, stagnation, chemtrails? chemtrails., Virgil, went to the well one too many times

on Virgil ... er ... Vincent:

The Virgil/Vincent we keep bringing up? Mike Jones, the former manservant of Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase. In this role in the WWF, he was dubbed Virgil, as a dig at Virgil Runnels, a.k.a Dusty Rhodes, who wasn't with the fed at the time. When he made the jump to WCW, he was made the nWo's head of security and redubbed Vincent, a dig at 400lb WWF Gorilla, Vince McMahon. He was later renamed Shane, a dig at McMahon's son. This is a gimmick history that makes no room for dignity.

on the lesser-known nWo entrance theme:

I forgot to incorporate the nWo midcarder entrance theme into the episode's bumpers. It's this jaunty little dad rock guitar thing that has even more obnoxious voice drops spliced into it, including a horrifically balanced clip of Eric Bischoff bellowing WE ARE IN CONTROL. Yes, the nWo Black and White had a separate theme for their less famous members. Wouldn't want to make the audience think important members of the New World Order were coming to the ring, after all.

on David Flair:

David Flair is probably a nice dude. He's also the polar opposite of his father, in that he looks like a shy 15 year old, was nervous and unsure on the mic and was wanting in the ring. His WWE entrance video incorporated a clip of father Ric looking horribly unimpressed, which faded to young David looking blankly and doing stretches. Poor guy. Anyway, that's why we were properly astonished by his appearance within the nWo, though that wasn't the only time he was pushed far above and beyond his station, as he'd be featured fairly prominently in WCW right up until its demise.

Hulk Hogan as an Invasive Species

It’s the inaugural episode! What better way to start an autopsy of the once biggest wrestling promotion in the world by taking a surgical rotary saw to a torso in a Hulkamania shirt and getting bloody-wrist deep in some BROTHER-DUDE-JACK? Specifically, we examine the ways that Hogan became to WCW what domestic cats became to Australia, or what kudzu became to the American South. If the idea of a rapidly replicating invasion of Hogan sounds terrifying to you, just imagine what it must’ve been like to be in WCW’s locker room in 1994! Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we envision a reality with multiple Hogans, and are scarred by it.

Tagged: a bunch of yelling about Hogan, three cages stacked on top of each other, Andre's large adult son, for the love of the game racism

  • The Russo we mentioned will be a name known to more seasoned wrestling fans. To the newer bunch, we’re talking about one Vince Russo, a booker of infamy. If you’re planning on sticking around in this fandom, get used to a lot of shouting about this dude.
  • We know ECW doesn’t exist any more. But ECW Crowds do. If you want to know what they look like now, they’re the folks that chant “John Cena suuuuuuuuuuucks” in time with his entrance theme. Yes, they may have lost their edge by a lot. They still wouldn’t have any of Hogan, though.